A Message to Black Gay Youth: Be Careful

After gathering my spirit to discuss this situation, I am now ready. A message that I felt in my spirit but just didn’t want to let it out. It needs to be said, though.

If you’ve been following the story about the drama with Stahr Milan and the young gay black men he was supposed to be mentoring you will understand where I’m coming from.

Almost 6 months ago, word got out around YouTube of a couple young gay men were allegedly raped and mistreated from someone who they trusted. It got real out of hand and I let my feelings get me into it and I discussed it in a couple of videos. I’ve been out since I was 16 and have had some experiences and lost a couple of friends to things that could have been prevented.

The gay houses (basically gay family) was something I heard about during my Myspace days. There were supposed to help and teach young gays what to look out for in the community. There was also a dark side to some of the houses. Some of the fathers and mothers who started their houses were having sex with the youth they were supposed to be mentoring.

Now some of you may be wondering what is the purpose of a gay house and a gay mother or father. Most of us are shunned out of our families when we decide to stop lying about our sexuality and just be ourselves. Thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that. There was one time where Ms. James did tell me to leave lol. She wasn’t serious she just didn’t understand my life and thought it was a phase. It wasn’t and she knows that now. A lot of other gay teens don’t have it like that. This was the purpose of the houses but some older gay men knew this and preyed on the young.

When I think of some of the gay houses it reminded me of “Pleasure Island” a fictional island that all the bad boys were sent to. At first glance, it looked like fun until they realized everything you see ain’t always good.

Now there were several alleged claims of sexual abuse that were told but never verified. At first, Stahr said he never had sex with any of them. Did several videos, tweets & posts to prove he didn’t. He later admitted to having sex with them but made it seem like it was consensual.

In Georgia, the age of consent to engage in sex is 16.  However, there can be no conviction for statutory rape in Georgia based only on the unsupported testimony of the victim. There must be some additional evidence. This might include physical evidence, the testimony of another witness, or the admission of the offender. –LegalMatch.com

In the court of public opinion, it looks horrible and the fact that he lied about makes it even worse.

To my young gay brothers and parents of young gay black men. Be careful. Everything you see ain’t what you get. Unfortunately, there are people who are out to get to you and use you until you have nothing left. They may offer your clothes and a place to lay your head. It may at first look like love but don’t be fooled so easily. No one should be asking you to do anything in return like sex or help with selling Phoenix tears and bacon drippings any fraudulent activities.

Tahj has recently met up with Stahr and has forgiven him for whatever may have happened.

Stockholm syndrome. : the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor.-Merriam-Webster Dictionary

I hope everything works out for the best for them I just don’t want any more young gay teens to fall into this trap. Do not be impressed by what you see on Instagram and Facebook or social media period. Some of these people are suffering from real life issues and barely getting by. Do you and be safe out here. Trust but verify any of these people who come into your life.

Parents or whoever, I hope this makes you want to reach out to any of your young gay family members no matter if they’re your son, nephew, cousin, etc. Don’t let the streets and scammers raise your child when you can.

If you are a young gay man of color and have any questions, need advice or anything please reach out to someone including me. Justin@justinj1232.com