Kenya’s Friend Brandon Tired of Being “Pocket Gay” Goes in on Black Community

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The gays are starting to wake up and realize that they can be more than just an accessory to black women.  Let me be clear that not all women are like this but I can not deny they’re plenty of women who do and think like this.

imageBrandon Deshazar has been Kenya’s friend on Real Housewives of Atlanta  since her first appearance. Not to be surprised all of the women on the show have a pocket gay (a gay version of a King’s fool).

Rewind to Season 6 when Brandon got into an altercation with Apollo at NeNe’s Pillow Talk. The conversations after the altercation were questionable. NeNe referred to Brandon to everything except a black man. But this is the woman who loves the gays… Yeah, when it’s profitable. It’s season 8 two years the ladies are still carrying on with the same behavior.

Brandon pinned a Facebook post about the situation even though he didn’t directly say it. Read below.

WARNING: This may be a hard read.

Sissy, Girlfriend, Faggot, Fag, Queen, Delicate, Sassy, Fruity, etc… The oppression of the Black Gay Male. Yes, there is a difference between being gay in America, and being Black & Gay in America. Sadly even within the black community it is all to common to weaponize a man’s sexuality or to reference his sexuality in an attempt to win a fight, when sexuality doesn’t even have a dog in it. Even more disconcerting is that the very people of the black community who steal, borrow and beg from the black gay male are the first to throw a dagger in an attempt to humiliate and YES…OPPRESS. Déjà vu anyone? When did we as black people become the oppressors of our own gay children, friends and brothers? Lets breakdown how we as a community of black individuals respond to words like, Ghetto, Ratchet, Nappy, Nigger, Monkey, and Coon when dripping off the fangs of a person that does not belong to the black community; and compare that to the Black & Gay communities response to words like Sissy, Girlfriend, Faggot, Queen, Delicate, Sassy and Fruity, that so frequently fall out of the mouths of our black family and friends. BUT THAT’S OKAY…..RIGHT?!?! Afterall its just good ol’ shade….isn’t it?


I for one am sick to my stomach when I see such behavior and EVEN WORSE, the dismissal of that behavior by both the black community as well as the Black & Gay community as acceptable. My knees go weak when black gay men are repeatedly feminized and represented on television and in media as nothing more than accessories to a powerful black woman. Meanwhile being “White & Gay” mean running networks, educated, selling million dollar homes and anchoring political events. The Black & Gay male is nothing more than a shiny thing to pull off the shelf and dust off when most convenient. Nothing more than a funny clown who can serve some good ‘reads’…nothing more than…Nothing.

Where did this begin and more importantly where does it stop? That’s easy, we live in a country and in a time when oppression is sadly acceptable, as long as you are oppressing the right group. But what I can’t for the life of me understand is how an already oppressed group can so easily oppress a sub-category of their own community. Maybe it starts with word choice. We’ve taken politically charged words like oppression and we have relegated it to “Shade.” Attacking a persons sexuality, skin color, or gender is NOT shade. That is infact oppression so lets call it what it is. Where does it end? When we finally stop giving passes to people for using words and insinuations against a community that they do not belong to. This is not about ownership of the words, it is about OPPRESSION.

A black person cannot oppress another black person by calling them a nigger. EVEN IF THEY MEAN IT AS AN INSULT. You can anger me, but not oppress me. But when a person who is not black calls a black person a nigger it hits the ear and you have been oppressed because you are black and they are not. Same thing with words in the female community and….back on topic….the gay community. You do not get to call ANY man a Queen, Fag, or Delicate because as soon as you do, you have insulted and oppressed. You have weaponized sexuality to aid you in your assassination. Shame on you. So then why is this so acceptable when it comes to the “Black & Gay” male???

As I watched television last night, I caught a scene with a group of affluent black women sitting around discussing the sexuality of a black man who was not present. It starts out with heavy insinuation, with words like “delicate” (cut to talking head with a smirk), then “sassy” (another smirk), then tap dancing = gay (another smirk) then we get into rumors from around town. FUNNY RIGHT…its just “shade.”
Now lets change the cast but keep the setting. Lets imagine a group of affluent white women sitting around discussing the ethnicity of a person who is not even present. Ghetto gets dropped, Ratchet gets thrown in there (are we on the phone with the NAACP yet). Meanwhile everyone sits around and laughs. FUNNY RIGHT… its just “shade.”

Oppression is oppression and it leads to assassination. I for one will not sit back and allow people who should know what it feels like to be oppressed in this country for simply being black, to then go and victimize a person IN THEIR own community for being gay. Correction….BLACK & GAY. I will no longer allow the non-chalant discussion of a mans sexuality to be slaughtered and used for public consumption. I will not co-sign my communities compulsion to continue to demonize and assassinate the sexuality of a gay man in an attempt to feel ‘Part of the greater.’ I WILL NOT SIT BACK AND WATCH THEM DEMEAN ME THROUGH THEIR OPPRESSIVELY CHARGED WORDS ABOUT ‘HIM.’ I am you, you are me, we are them and they are us. That’s where it stops…when you take the same stand I’m taking today. When you decide that you will no longer sit back and pass off accountability for the oppression of a gay man….Excuse me….”Black & Gay”


Even though Brandon is tardy to the party for speaking out, in my opinion, I appreciate it. Not sure of the conversations that he has had with Kenya but I hope he educates her on how she comes off and especially her comments on last night’s episode. She referred to Kim’s husband as “fruity” the same homophobic comments I received throughout my teenage years.

I too joined in laughing while they clowned Chris for being feminine. It didn’t bother me because I take these ladies with a grain of salt. I get what I get from them and move on about my business. They will praise you in public and clown you behind closed doors for being yourself.



What do you think of Brandon’s comments and do you think he pulled Kenya to the side and told her she was wrong?